Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The air was thick with penises
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
