I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
