Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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