i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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