Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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