I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
