Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize