bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
