Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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