You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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