Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need a beard to bite.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
