I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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