I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You are a genius and a whore.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
