Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
