just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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