More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
