apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
