My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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