The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize