I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
