hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
