We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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