I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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