: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found a bag of teeth...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
