yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
