remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
