On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What a dumb baby whore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
