Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
