can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
