Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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