I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So squirting runs in the family.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
