5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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