Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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