stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
