he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
