people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
