she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I understand Curling. That high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
