You just made me feel so damn special
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
