he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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