someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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