Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
