You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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