He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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