I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
