Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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