Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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