time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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