He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
