dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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