got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
