i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You are a genius and a whore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
