I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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