weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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