I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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