There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
