She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
