Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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