sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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