My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
