She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
