It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
