So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
