I wannas sexs uuuuu
At least make sure they are 18
Why
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize