why im i the only drunk person in the library?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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