she looked like the before picture.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
