Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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