i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
